sorry guys but i need to vent for a little bit. This past year has been a crazy adventure for me. sense january 2010 i have gone from dating to engaged to calling off the engagement. i went from two parents to one parent living. i have moved from minnesota to utah back to minnesota and i am planing on moving back to utah once more.
today i had a mental break down thinking about all those things and i reliesed sometimes i wish i could control my life and everything that happens to that it would all be happy and have no sad sides. but then i also thought without the sad and the lonely how can you have they happy.
the past few months have had there ups and downs this last month mostly being downs but it has had great benefits to it as well. I have found who is really supportive of me and who isn't have have found out who i really have to lean on to get the right answers.
as for now im spending a lot of time preparing and planing my trip back to utah. however i cant control the weather that week, i cant control wether my car will make it or not but if i pray and believe i can make it i know in my heart that heavenly father would never put me in a place that i cant get out of.
I know this post is really random but i have had a lot of things running through my head today and i cant handle it so i decided i needed to get a few out.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Saturday, March 26, 2011
My Thoughts on Life in the moment...
Sense visiting home in January I have noticed a few things that I didn't like about being in Minnesota. The biggest one is not having friends that are closer to my age. I have also more recently struggled with home sickness yet again I don’t know if growing up if you ever completely get away from being homesick.
as most of you know not very long after coming back in January i decided that i was going to stick it out until after tax season and then i was going to move on and find a new nanny job. Well starting the end of February i started looking and applying for jobs.
i guess i should have talked to Michele about this because she found out through a friend that I was planning on leaving which is not the way I wanted her to find out. Then the fun began it started out with my Michele just being a little angry and not really talking to me, then it came to a point where i have two families interested and want to meet me in person so i went and talked to Michele about it she said that they could work something out and would try and be supportive of me. so I told the families just that, One of the families gave me exact dates to come and see them so I went back to Michele with those dates and she said ok we will work something out. Twenty minutes later she texted me telling me that she didn't want me going.
After that I emailed her an email and I thought I was pretty nice for how angry I was with her saying that I was going to take the interview and that I was only asking for a few days its not like the end of the world. She didn't like being put back in her place I guess because her and Brian came and talked to me about it. She told me I was very childish with how I approached and handled the situation and that I need to grow up.
Then she went off on a rampage about how angry she was with me and stated that she would just fire me but she is so busy at work that she couldn't handle not having a nanny. She also said that she had plenty of girls waiting to replace me. Then she went off to say how I needed to apologies for what I did. I don’t feel sorry for the way I acted I thought I handled it and treated her just as equal as she treated me.
I was not going to let her treat me like her two-year-old daughter. I’m sorry I’m an adult I will apologize if I feel the need to.
Any way after that little endeavor I started praying about the situation and trying to figure out what I’m supposed to be learning out of this whole thing.
The answer I feel I finally received was this, If you don’t lean on heavenly father to make your decisions you tend to make situations harder for yourself.
For instance I never prayed about the job that I ask time off for I just felt like it was a good opportunity. Which is why after putting myself through this whole situation and getting my employers mad at me, loosing my one and only nanny reference.
Nothing worked out until I prayed about it.
I honestly can say that after praying and feeling the pull towards home I really need to be there. Something about being closer to friends and family is very important.
So after this huge long rant I guess what im asking for is prayers from all of you to please pray that I will find a job, that I am doing the right thing for everyone.
as of right now im resigning as a nanny for now. moving back to utah hoping to find a job, get into school and learn that im happy there and not farther away. it ver important that i feel like i need to get away you all remind me of this because i know now that the best place for me is closer to home.
as most of you know not very long after coming back in January i decided that i was going to stick it out until after tax season and then i was going to move on and find a new nanny job. Well starting the end of February i started looking and applying for jobs.
i guess i should have talked to Michele about this because she found out through a friend that I was planning on leaving which is not the way I wanted her to find out. Then the fun began it started out with my Michele just being a little angry and not really talking to me, then it came to a point where i have two families interested and want to meet me in person so i went and talked to Michele about it she said that they could work something out and would try and be supportive of me. so I told the families just that, One of the families gave me exact dates to come and see them so I went back to Michele with those dates and she said ok we will work something out. Twenty minutes later she texted me telling me that she didn't want me going.
After that I emailed her an email and I thought I was pretty nice for how angry I was with her saying that I was going to take the interview and that I was only asking for a few days its not like the end of the world. She didn't like being put back in her place I guess because her and Brian came and talked to me about it. She told me I was very childish with how I approached and handled the situation and that I need to grow up.
Then she went off on a rampage about how angry she was with me and stated that she would just fire me but she is so busy at work that she couldn't handle not having a nanny. She also said that she had plenty of girls waiting to replace me. Then she went off to say how I needed to apologies for what I did. I don’t feel sorry for the way I acted I thought I handled it and treated her just as equal as she treated me.
I was not going to let her treat me like her two-year-old daughter. I’m sorry I’m an adult I will apologize if I feel the need to.
Any way after that little endeavor I started praying about the situation and trying to figure out what I’m supposed to be learning out of this whole thing.
The answer I feel I finally received was this, If you don’t lean on heavenly father to make your decisions you tend to make situations harder for yourself.
For instance I never prayed about the job that I ask time off for I just felt like it was a good opportunity. Which is why after putting myself through this whole situation and getting my employers mad at me, loosing my one and only nanny reference.
Nothing worked out until I prayed about it.
I honestly can say that after praying and feeling the pull towards home I really need to be there. Something about being closer to friends and family is very important.
So after this huge long rant I guess what im asking for is prayers from all of you to please pray that I will find a job, that I am doing the right thing for everyone.
as of right now im resigning as a nanny for now. moving back to utah hoping to find a job, get into school and learn that im happy there and not farther away. it ver important that i feel like i need to get away you all remind me of this because i know now that the best place for me is closer to home.
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