December 31, 2012
Today is New years Eve the last day of the year. As I sit
here and contemplate all the adventures that I have been through in the last 12
months my heart is full remembering all the hardships and struggles, As well as
all the happy and exciting blessings that I have received through out the
year. I would like to share a few of
them with you as I take a walk back and remember the past year.
January
As I rang in the new year back in January 2012 I had made
the decision this year was going to be full of love and excitement. As the year
started out seemed to be alright and going well. A few weeks past and life was
great. By the middle of January this thought changed to this year is going to
suck really bad. As my mom was admitted to the hospital to have knee
replacement surgery. While in surgery she went into cardiac arrest and had to
be revived they believed to have been a minor stroke. She was then sent
straight to intensive care where she was monitored for quite a few days when
she went into cardiac arrest once more. At this time I thought it was getting
close to having to say goodbye to my mom forever. She didn’t seem to be getting
any better when the doctor told us she was in total kidney failure and we
needed to decide what the next step was going to be. As Gabi and I thought
about it we knew that we had to make her fight this and come back it was not
her time to go. So we had them start dialysis.
I will not forget that first day of dialysis watch my mom go through
that rigorous treatment was painful and I do not wish that on anyone. As the
next week went of them treating her on dialysis twice a day for three to four
hours at a time my mom made a come back and by the end of the month she was
home and doing much better.
February
Feburary 1 2012 was another start of a very scary adventure
especially for my sister Margaret as she went into the hospital emergency room
very early in the morning that day with what she thought was pain from an
infection turned out to be contractions and she welcomed her beautiful baby
madison Louis Baldwin that morning. Who was assumed to be dead as the nurse was
explaining what had happened to my sister, Margaret felt the greatest miracle
of all her beautiful littler girl kick proving that she was a fighter.
This was a start of a very long adventure for Margaret,
Tony, and baby Madison.
Madison is and will always be a Miracle baby she is a
fighter as the month went on madison spent her time in the NICU in Ogden as
Margaret switched to be mom of a very sick baby and Me being on the outside
watching has been a growing experience for me and I will forever think of my
sister as the strongest person I know her testimony of strength and trust has
provided me with a testimony of my heavenly father and that he listens
The next few months were just chill and not much happened.
May
In May my mom decided that she was going to be baptized into
the church this was an exciting event and has opened my mind to the truth that
heavenly father answers prayers even if it takes a long time. As it was also a
reminder that everything happens in his time not in my time.
June
In June I got to go to a nickleback concert which was
amazing they are one of my favorite bands and my sister is awesome for getting
tickets to go. We also went to this Mexican restaurant that has changed my view
on Mexican food forever it was amazing.
July
In July I started a new job it was a huge blessing in my
life I thought it was my dream job I loved working for Vivint solar. As I love
drafting and all that is involved in that. This job also provided me with a
more comfortable income and a little more freedom in what I wanted to do. I
thought it was an answer to my prayers for job security and financial security.
September
The month I turned 23 nothing else exciting happened
Sense September my life has been pretty calm that was until
December 9th when I lost my job working at Vivint solar. I also
realized that I was not accomplishing the Grades in school that are necessary
in order to pass.
December has been full of trials and growing experiences. As
I went to North Carolina to visit my older brother and his family I was able to
clear my head and make some personal decisions as to where I want to go with my
life.
Throughout this year i have had to watch many of my friends get married and leave the single world this has been one of my biggest struggles as i am ready to find that person i will share my life with. its been tough to watch people i have built friendships with get married because it seems once you are married your not allowed to have single friends anymore. i have so many friends who i thought to be good friends get married and i never hear from them again.
I know that I am not perfect life is not perfect and I need
to rely more on my heavenly father for guidance to that guidance only comes
when we are in tune with the spirit. As I start out this new year I am making
the commitment to be me and not care weather or not people judge me for that.
I know my testimony is there and will always help define who
I am but im not going to let what others think my testimony should be define
who I am my testimony is defined by the good and the bad decisions I have made
and I am ok with that.
this past year has been a growing experience of me trying to find my place in this big old world. i dont think i have exactly accomplished that yet but i am choosing to be happy with the paths that i have found i belong.I have had my ups and downs im sure most of you have watched me go through them this past year.
but as i get ready to say goodbye to 2012 and hello 2013 these memories needed to be shared. i am sure there were a lot more thing that happend throughout my year that i have forgotten or missed to mention.
i know this post is a little random and out of the ordinary. it is also a little random in the topics but its what my thoughts are today as i am getting ready to say goodbye to this year.
