Monday, December 31, 2012

2012 a year of growth.

December 31, 2012

Today is New years Eve the last day of the year. As I sit here and contemplate all the adventures that I have been through in the last 12 months my heart is full remembering all the hardships and struggles, As well as all the happy and exciting blessings that I have received through out the year.  I would like to share a few of them with you as I take a walk back and remember the past year.


As I rang in the new year back in January 2012 I had made the decision this year was going to be full of love and excitement. As the year started out seemed to be alright and going well. A few weeks past and life was great. By the middle of January this thought changed to this year is going to suck really bad. As my mom was admitted to the hospital to have knee replacement surgery. While in surgery she went into cardiac arrest and had to be revived they believed to have been a minor stroke. She was then sent straight to intensive care where she was monitored for quite a few days when she went into cardiac arrest once more. At this time I thought it was getting close to having to say goodbye to my mom forever. She didn’t seem to be getting any better when the doctor told us she was in total kidney failure and we needed to decide what the next step was going to be. As Gabi and I thought about it we knew that we had to make her fight this and come back it was not her time to go. So we had them start dialysis.  I will not forget that first day of dialysis watch my mom go through that rigorous treatment was painful and I do not wish that on anyone. As the next week went of them treating her on dialysis twice a day for three to four hours at a time my mom made a come back and by the end of the month she was home and doing much better.


Feburary 1 2012 was another start of a very scary adventure especially for my sister Margaret as she went into the hospital emergency room very early in the morning that day with what she thought was pain from an infection turned out to be contractions and she welcomed her beautiful baby madison Louis Baldwin that morning. Who was assumed to be dead as the nurse was explaining what had happened to my sister, Margaret felt the greatest miracle of all her beautiful littler girl kick proving that she was a fighter.
This was a start of a very long adventure for Margaret, Tony, and baby Madison.
Madison is and will always be a Miracle baby she is a fighter as the month went on madison spent her time in the NICU in Ogden as Margaret switched to be mom of a very sick baby and Me being on the outside watching has been a growing experience for me and I will forever think of my sister as the strongest person I know her testimony of strength and trust has provided me with a testimony of my heavenly father and that he listens

The next few months were just chill and not much happened.
In May my mom decided that she was going to be baptized into the church this was an exciting event and has opened my mind to the truth that heavenly father answers prayers even if it takes a long time. As it was also a reminder that everything happens in his time not in my time.

In June I got to go to a nickleback concert which was amazing they are one of my favorite bands and my sister is awesome for getting tickets to go. We also went to this Mexican restaurant that has changed my view on Mexican food forever it was amazing.


In July I started a new job it was a huge blessing in my life I thought it was my dream job I loved working for Vivint solar. As I love drafting and all that is involved in that. This job also provided me with a more comfortable income and a little more freedom in what I wanted to do. I thought it was an answer to my prayers for job security and financial security.

The month I turned 23 nothing else exciting happened

Sense September my life has been pretty calm that was until December 9th when I lost my job working at Vivint solar. I also realized that I was not accomplishing the Grades in school that are necessary in order to pass.
December has been full of trials and growing experiences. As I went to North Carolina to visit my older brother and his family I was able to clear my head and make some personal decisions as to where I want to go with my life.

Throughout this year i have had to watch many of my friends get married and leave the single world this has been one of my biggest struggles as i am ready to find that person i will share my life with. its been tough to watch people i have built friendships with get married because it seems once you are married your not allowed to have single friends anymore. i have so many friends who i thought to be good friends get married and i never hear from them again. 

I know that I am not perfect life is not perfect and I need to rely more on my heavenly father for guidance to that guidance only comes when we are in tune with the spirit. As I start out this new year I am making the commitment to be me and not care weather or not people judge me for that.
I know my testimony is there and will always help define who I am but im not going to let what others think my testimony should be define who I am my testimony is defined by the good and the bad decisions I have made and I am ok with that.
this past year has been a growing experience of me trying to find my place in this big old world. i dont think i have exactly accomplished that yet but i am choosing to be happy with the paths that i have found i belong.

I have had my ups and downs im sure most of you have watched me go through them this past year.
but as i get ready to say goodbye to 2012 and hello 2013 these memories needed to be shared. i am sure there were a lot more thing that happend throughout my year that i have forgotten or missed to mention.
i know this post is a little random and out of the ordinary. it is also a little random in the topics but its what my thoughts are today as i am getting ready to say goodbye to this year.

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